i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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