just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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