Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize