he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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