So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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