I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
