you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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