suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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