You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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