I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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