just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
