Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
