I cockslap morals
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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