I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
