he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize