i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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