We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
