this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
