Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
