i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
