You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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