How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
