i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
