Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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