How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize