Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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