Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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