Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
