Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
