He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
two words...techno handjob
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
