You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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