my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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