I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize