i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
