She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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