Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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