The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
