I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
