the condom got lost in my hair
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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