Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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