Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
