It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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