Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
