Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
and she was petting her beer can
We need to rekindle our bromance
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
