it wasn't lemon gatorade
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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