was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
