On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
