I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
