I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
