the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
