your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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