but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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