i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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