It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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