He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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