I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
no you cant smoke seaweed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
