He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
